bipolar caretakers
Bipolar relationship help?
The person I am with is bipolar. They are on medication but still nothing is perfect. The thing is I am getting to a point where I am actually considering leaving because one day everything is fine but when he gets mad or depressed I am the devil and he runs off and I have no clue when he will be back. He makes vague suicide threats and then implies I am stupid, worthless, and I don't care about him. You cannot talk to him when he is in this mood. I am at the end of my rope. I go to every doctor visit. I support him in his disorder. I work in the mental health field and even I know caretakers have limits. I have a family with him though. I love him, but it is started to make me feel crazy and I want to run away. This is the first time in our whole relationship were I have actually considered telling him to leave. What can I do. Is it useless to try anymore because my own mental health is becoming affected.
That is the crazy thing. He is on medication.
Well you are describing my wife. I can be of no help. I am at the end of my rope and seriously comsidering a divorce. I mean last night she calls close to midnight crying that she was in a hit and run. I went to where she was and she was okay and we talked to the police. She was crying the whole time. We get home and she asks me why I didn't go to the support group meeting and I told her as I did earlier in the day that if she goes I won't. Well thar she blows. The yelling and screaming started. Calls me an asshole, etc. and brings up topics that she thinks will upset me. Then today she asks me if I will take her car to the bodyshop on monday I might add that I did not want to go to the group if she went because then I could not speak as she would use everything I say as fodder (or is it foder) for her next outburst. She told me that there is yelling at the meeting and I thought, I get that at home I don't need to drive to be yelled and screamed at.
She can take a mundane comment and make it into a cause de resistance. Example: How is your dad? fine. What did he have to say. He said he saw Judy at the hospital but the parking is $20 one day and $28, etc.. So when she got mad at me she starts yelling "your father is an ass, he goes to visit Judy and complains about the parking, what a cheap self centered bastard". Not exactly a quote but you get the idea. BTW my father is in his 80's.
I dont know if she takes her meds or not as she is smart enough to spit it out if she wants to. I have my doubts about her taking them because a few weeks ago she went into a rage because she only lost 1 lbs in a month of dieting and blamed it on her meds. Then the other day she says she can now fit in her regular size jeans.
Sorry for venting as I know you would like answers. I am just upset because I thought the support group may have helped me understand how to cope with her when she rages. Yes, she could make even that into a mean thing to say: for example when she goes into yelling mode she may say you little weasel ...., you are no man, you need someone to tell you how to act. you asshole gay weasel.
I hope someone gives you a good answer as I could use one too.
I am new to this board and apologize if my response here is out of line. If so, please let me know and I will delete it.
Where To Find Mental Health And The Community Resource
There is a need for people nowadays to be more concerned about their mental or psychological health. Aside from the absence of a mental disorder, people are considered mentally healthy when they are able to cope with the stresses they encounter in their life. This means that people who are psychologically healthy realize their own abilities and could work productively in the communities they belong to. They are able to find happiness, fulfillment and enjoyment in their lives.
Whether it is mild or severe depression, anxiety disorder, schizophrenia or bipolar disorder, people who have some mental problems could recover from their situation and live normal, happy lives. They would however, need all the help they could get and it is very difficult to recover on their own.
The existence of strong support systems such as one that comes from a healthy mental health community in the form of families, neighbors, volunteers and friends who give love, care and belongingness, is not only helpful but at times necessary for the speedy recovery of people who have had stressful and traumatic experiences that may have led to some psychological problems. This is why it is important for caretakers of people who have mental disorders to have some kind of understanding about what their loved ones are going through.
Services from a mental health community are found to lessen social exclusion and provide better effects on patients compared to when they are placed in mental hospitals, where neglect, discrimination and human rights violation often become problematic issues. It also enables patients to adjust to a more natural and freer environment. It also enables caregivers, such as families and relatives who are mostly affected since they take care of the patients, a clearer idea of what the patients need and how they could help them recover at a faster rate.
In order to become mentally healthy, it is important for people to have a source of empowerment in order to see themselves as individuals who are able to make a significant contribution to the communities that they belong to. Nonetheless, a sense of belongingness is among the primary needs of people with mental illness. This is why a mental health social network is also very helpful. Such networks now exist in the form of online help services where people with mental illnesses, together with some volunteers and health professionals get to meet online and share their knowledge and experiences.
A mental health social network becomes a venue for self-expression for anyone who has a mental problem. In addition, it is also where people with mental disorders could meet people who are like them -people who are suffering from the same situation. Knowing that they are not alone and that there are ways for them to still have social relationships in spite of their situation could give them a more positive outlook in life.
These social networks are not limited to those within the community but may even extend to online networks that connect people from different parts of the world. Indeed, a person's psychological well-being is largely connected to his/her community and existing social relationships.
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For more information on how to find the mental health social networks, visit the mental health community resource site.
"I Don't Need Depression Medication!!!"
